First Snow

Windy: Look at the beautiful snow! Isn’t it be-you-tea-full!! Look at it sparkle. Look at it twinkle. Isn’t it be-you-tea-ful!! Who wants to go and play in it with me?

Cream O Wheat (Grammy): It’s cold and wet. Let me just lay here and swang my jaw. I’m in the zone.

Windy: But we can jump and run and play in it! And we’ll get all sparkly and twinkly! Come on!

Grammy: (Swang. Swang. Swang.) Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.

Misty: Oh crap.

Grammy: (Swang. Swang. Swang) Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.

Diva: Oh no. Mom can’t make it out through this. We’re gonna die. The feeders are halfway empty. The water trough is down a couple inches. We’re gonna starve! We’re gonna die! We must ration food and water for the winter. Maybe we can eat snow. WE’RE GONNA DIE!!

Misty: Crap.

Windy: We can go play in it before we eat it! Come on.

Diva: We should cover the doors to keep the cold out. Maybe we could stuff the goat in the doorway, add Shiloh, he’s pretty big. The two of them should block the wind and cold nicely. Everybody, everybody, we’ll all poop over there from now on, so that it doesn’t get in the way of the feeder. Only one mouthful of hay a day. A little sip of water. Let’s get to work.

Windy: We can go out and get all sparkly before you block the door! Come on!

Misty: Crap.

Diva: We’re gonna die and all you can think of is playing.

Grammy: Ohm. Ohm.

Shiloh: Did somebody call me? You ladies need a little somethin’ from the big guy?

Goat: Baaa. Baaaa.

Misty: Crap.

Diva: We’re gonna die. No food. No water. Soon we’ll be eating each other.

Mom (entering the barn and shaking off the snow): Good morning everybody! Are you all ok? Anybody shivering? Need coats?

Diva: Never mind.

Misty: Crap.

Grammy: Ohm. Ohm.

Shiloh: What just happened?